It’s ROY G BIV Damnit! Monkey retaliation, and South by Northwest.

The Wandering Nerd January 19th, 2008

Kuala Lumpur, for all it’s vaunted character as a major city had precious little to really do.

I’m liking Malaysia. It’s nice enough, has all of the basic infrastructure of any modern ‘western’ city, and it’s gleefullly warm. Usually hovering right around the low nineties (F)/ mid thirties (C), with rain cooling things off around the hottest points in the day, KL still has some failings for me. It’s a predominantly Muslim city. While I don’t ascribe, prescribe, or transcribe to any religion, I’m generally loath to deride any one in particular as it’s an emotional response and based on feelings and faith. I have only trace amounts of either remaining. Further, it’s largely influenced and populated by Indian identity.

Now, when it comes to a religion affecting my day to day operational routine, I begin to have some conflicts. With the whole Muslim thing it makes maintaining my geas towards alchoholism difficult, or at least more fiscally irresponsible.

Remember the part about my being ever mindful of the location of the nearest restroom while in Sing? Right. Well now I have a powerful aversion to Indian quisine, which is also a large portion of the day to day far of Lumpurians - I think I may have just made that word up.

With these two powerful forces combining, I’m going to give KL a 7 of 10 for WN-Livibility.


A few of us went to visit the Batu Caves, which also has monkeys. Not quite as many as the temple in Nepal, but certainly a decent number. One of the guys I’ve been traveling with, Dan, decided - against my suggestions - to pretend to be a monkey and try to interact with some random macaque monkey in the temple. While he was dancing about he didn’t notice the alpha male monkey of the group running up behind him, despite me saying, “Monkey, monkey, MONKEY!” So, said leader monkey leaps upon him and in classic vampire fashion reared its head back and bit him on the arm. I only wish I had photos of the actual ‘attack’.

After he threw the little bastard off it landed in front of me and hissed for a moment or so. We stared at each other for a few seconds, came to an understanding that jumping on me would be a bad decision, and then it bounded off after Dan again, cornering him farther in the temple. I have to give Dan credit though, bleeding arm and all he kept yelling, “Get a picture of this!” That my friend, is showmanship.

I’m hoping it was a radioactive monkey and he’s going to granted monkey like powers such as agility, strength and fantastic pooh flinging ability. Either that or he’s getting spinal meningitis and going to die soon. I’m watching out for delirium effects and plan on taking most of his stuff if he falls behind the herd. Ever compasionate I am. We’re planning on taking him to the snake temple, then the tiger temple…heheh…

You’ll see some good photos of the Petronas Towers. The towers don’t look real at all. Walking around the city it’s like someone has rendered the towers in the middle of the city. We made sure by walking up and physically touching the thing. Touching is fun. :)

alone…listless…breakfast table
in an otherwise empty room
-pearl jam

4 Responses to “It’s ROY G BIV Damnit! Monkey retaliation, and South by Northwest.”

  1. Picidaeon 20 Jan 2008 at 12:58 pm

    I hope Dan is aware that the majority of diseases which primates can carry are transmittable to people and that more than 70% of Macaques are infected with Cercopithecine herpesvirus 1 (Herpes B-Virus). Untreated humans have a 70% fatality rate due to infection, vesicular eruptions at the location of the bite, encephalomyelitis, etc. Oh and lets not forget to mention Simian Immunodeficiency Virus and Simian Foamy Virus which are also common to Macaque populations. There are numerous other diseases (ie: rabies, TB, hepatitis…) which can be spread through bites or through general contact with infected primates. So /pat on the back to Dan and good luck bud. Oh…and NO MORE TAUNTING MONKEYS YOU NUB-CAKE! ^^

  2. The Parentson 21 Jan 2008 at 10:36 pm

    I certainly hope and Pray Dan is OK! Please try to stay away from the monkeys. They aren’t very friendly. It sounds as though there are an abundance amount of the little creatures, so they think that is their Domain. Just try and get away from them if at all possible. The Parents

  3. spectreon 22 Jan 2008 at 9:09 am

    Dan’s injury aside, the monkey attack has surpast the Beck’s beer incident for high marks on the snicker scale. That was definitely one of your funnier postings… Well done sir

  4. Hoshion 22 Jan 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Maybe that’ll learn y’all not to mess with my peeps…er…monks. We is vicious beyond belief, when taunted with fruit or leaf, and the time will come when you ought to run but instead end up in the grasp of me teeth. :D
    Seriously though, don’t funk with the muckeys!!! We means bidness! WOR!!!1!!111
    I hope everyone ends up okay and without any mangina-itis or whatever. When in the polite company of primates who are prone to hostile fluctuations in temperament, it might be better to offer gifts of fruit or simply ignore them instead of mocking us…er…them. Next time, should there be one, try offering the primate-in-question a Bic lighter and teaching him how to use it. After all, it is man’s red flower that he seeks. (Cue: “I wanna be just like you” by King Louis in The Jungle Book
    As always, be safe, have a good time and do NOT dance around like a bear in a grass skirt and coconut nose, Belew!

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