You missed Robotron 2084, I was just warming your feet and I’ll just mind the van shall I?

The Wandering Nerd May 22nd, 2008

My flight into Melbourne didn’t get in until pretty late, and by the time I made it back to my friend’s place it was gone midnight. I’m staying with Max and Marty - from the band Asleep in the Park - whom I met in Amsterdam and later on met up with in Prague. They were kind enough to let me crash and also pick me up from the airport and drive my very exhausted cloaca into the city. The bassist from the band - Naomi - was out having drinks so I put on my big boy pants and went out to catch up with her. Being my first Saturday night in Melbourne, I had a duty to uphold to you, my kind reader. Collecting experiences just like little glass beads and sharing them with you via the interwebs. We’ll call it ‘existential marbles’. The intent was merely to meet some of the people in my new home city, have a couple drinks, and head back…I ended up watching the sunrise. A very interesting introduction to the city…MY The City!

There’s a big rivalry between the two cities in Australia. Yes, Virginia, there are more than two cities in Oz, but don’t tell the inhabitants of either Melbourne or Sydney that. I’m not sure they have enough scorn to expand their scornfulness, what with scorn being a limited resource in most humans. Me, I’m a font of scorn, I have a boundless supply of tumultuous scorn at my scornful disposal. They really have a thing about taking swipes at the other city. I found them both to be pretty cool, they are both very different so it’s like comparing a wheelbarrow to a collie. Sydney has a really metropolitan vibe, all glass and steel, and the people there are the classic model style beauty. Blondes and beach bums, flashy bars and nightclubs all trying to out cut the edge of style with the others. Melbourne on the other hand is all retro chic, a really artsy vibe with a lot of music venues and galleries. Mostly people there are in the alternative fold. I liked them both for different reasons, either one is frickin’ sweet.


I stopped by the Melbourne Museum - getting free admission with the fake student ID I picked up in Bangkok - and got wrangled into being part of some study that the University was doing. It boiled down to having a little Malaysian guy follow me around taking notes on what I looked at, and what route I took. You’ll see some of the photos, it’s one of the better museums I’ve been to. I did a little bit of research on the indigenous animals of Oz while I was there, mainly the ones that can kill you. Which is pretty much all of them. Spiders, snakes, scorpions, box jellyfish, giant squids, wild dingos, etc… perhaps the most frightening are the legendary and terrifying Drop Bear. They pounce on you from their evil lairs high up in the trees, sometimes devouring whole tour groups in one go. Just look at that thing…*shiver*

The ACMI was also hosting an exhibition called “Game On” - a history of video games. It’s like this city is just trying to woo me isn’t it? Good food, great music, lovely ladies, and every video game from the original pong up to a bunch of Wiis - still a stupid name. On of the presentations was on Machinima - using in game engines for the purpose of making movies, shorts and general animation. One that was very impressive:Ballad of Black Mesa do check that one out when you have a minute, even if you have no idea what Half-life 2 is - in which case I may question why the hell you’re reading this little bloggy thing - it’s still an impressive effort.

On the flip side, aussie commercials suck. Full stop.

I had another with synchronicity - twice actually, though not involving Ayers Rock. One of the guys I met from Melbourne when I was in Paris hadn’t been in contact with me for a long time. While Naomi was driving me around the city showing me some of the sights we passed him on the street waiting for a bus and stopped for a chat. Then, when engaged in a version of Project Mayhem - which I’ll cover more in a minute - we were walking back past a bar where a group of girls were getting kicked out for being too drunk. Turns out I knew two of them from back in Laos, so thousands of mile away, not knowing we were even going to be in the same city at the same time, I was walking past a random bar that was no where near where I was staying and at that precise moment I ran into people I’d known. Small small world kids.

Our Project Mayhem involved putting up flyers and posters for the band. Little did I know that there’s a hefty fine if the cops catch you doing it, to the tune of $200 per flyer…I find this out when I’m walking around with 50 flyers. Then we hopped in a white van and drove around putting up full size posters, everyone wearing black beanies and hoodies. There’s some sort of poster mafia that runs in Melbourne so we had to be surreptitious in how we did it, sneaking around and seeing if any of the other white vans rolling around were rival ‘gangs’. Thug life, dog…thug life…

The stay in Melbourne was very productive as well. Spent time sorting out more information with the uni, had a good few days of wandering about the city getting my bearings and finding some possible neighborhoods to live, checking on basic services, etc… I wasn’t just there for fun you know. I’m a doctor of journalism goddamnit!

And, as it turns out, I have been awarded a scholarship for the University as well. Seems like fortune does indeed favor the bold…so go be bold gang…be bold everytime.

Tiltviewer Link

will drive our ships to new lands,
to fight the horde, singing and crying:
valhalla, i am coming!
-led zeppelin

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