No excuses, I stay away, and them bones…

The Wandering Nerd September 24th, 2007

So I’ve had about 6 hours sleep in 3 days. You people really are slave drivers, you realize this right? Giving me assignments like taking photos of more native European fauna is hard work. I’ve had to go to places like Mecca - which is the polar opposite of what the name would imply, and sadly for you guys, didn’t allow cameras - to the Cross Club, which is my favorite bar in the whole world and one that will be revisited in the future, and the most demanding all, Karlovy Lázne. All of this has been forcing me to stay out literally all night - the clubs don’t even open until midnight and don’t close until 7 am. Though in the case of Karlovy Lázne, they actually have one floor that is a ‘chill out room’ which has couches and people just go up there to take a nap for a while, and then get back up to head down to another floor. Oh, and it also has internet access in the basement. I was vaguely tempted to post something from there but then ‘Jump Around’ by the House of Pain came on and I got distracted - I did indeed get the feeling to jump across the ceiling.

Speaking of, I’ve sort of figured something out. One of the reasons I’ve never been a club/dance guy is I’m too shy and self conscious to actually dance. Basically assuming that I was going to be the Don Knotts meets Screech of the dance floor. There’s a trick to it though. As long as someone else in the room is dancing worse than you are, keep on cabbage patching or doing that peace sign on the eyes thing. Cause you aren’t at the end of the bell curve. The corollary to this is of course, if you look around and clearly everyone else has their groove thing firmly lodged betwixt the beats in the music, you should probably get off the table.

Where was I? Oh, right! Getting out of the club the first night around 0530, the big group we were with splintered into three group going all different directions. Some were looking for a ‘Maccers’ - Australian for McD’s, some were getting a taxi, and some were going for the night trams that run through the city….at night. I headed for McDs. Not for any real want of a burger, but that group was headed to the Metro which I’d already bought tickets for, so it was the best bet. Well, for their sins, two of them somehow ended up following me. Poor fools. I walked back to the Metro stop that I knew, probably about a mile or so. The funny part - well funny for me as I’m used to walking all over a town - there were three other tram stations that were closer. In my defense, I did point out that I was only following what I knew. The upside, and perhaps my only saving grace, was that McDs had opened by the time we had made it back to the station. So there were many cheeseburgers to be had, and there was much rejoicing.

Funny little bits, I’ve been officially christened a ‘Aussie-without-an-accent.’ The basic premise, of course, is that I’m the most Australian like bloke that these guys had met, I just happened to talk funny. I’ve also been told that I’m the best American that people have met. That’s right, a effen ambassador of goodwill, an envoy of cool, a champion of all that is right and good in the aware section of American culture. Take heart my American brethren! I beat a wide trail of decency through the fields of animosity that previous frat boys have sown.

*ahem* I haven’t slept for a long time, let’s just move on past that little mania moment there, pretending not to look.

Then, for you my dear reader, all for you, I went back again to Karlovy Lázne the very next night. In truth I met back up with the crew from Amsterdam that were doing the music tour. I stopped into their show to say hey, enjoy another good set from Asleep in the Park and then I went back to the club…until 0500…again. This time though I went to the closest Metro station, after only some minor detouring. Prague staunchly refuses to use clear road sighs…or straight streets that go for more than a block. Which pretty much makes navigating through Prague about as intuitive as a tax code.

Karlovy Lázne also has a VIP area which totally needs to be used for the Broi anniversary party. For 1000 Czech crowns a head, you get a special roped off area overlooking one of the bars, no waiting in the queue, your very own bouncer, and all you can drink drinks all night in your own fridge that is continually restocked.

Some of you are thinking “gee golly gosh, that’s great!”, some of you are saying “what the hell is a Broi?”, others, and the ones that I’m going to actually address - I don’t talk to people that use ‘golly gosh’ in a thought - are thinking “what the hairy hell is a Czech crown in real money?” It’s about a nickel. One dollar is ~20 Czech Crowns. A full pull beer here (0.5L) is about a buck. So for fifty dollars US a head you get essentially the run of the place, though it’s a minimum of five heads. I didn’t think to ask if they needed to remain connected, more on that later.

In the end though, the safari excursions were something of a success and there are more pictures of some actual Europeans - and to assage any fears/complaints - Hoshi, I’m looking at you -, yes there are females of the species. So as not to keep you waiting:

And for some video fun, here’s some stuff from Cross Club -


Prague is the type of city that you’d be hard pressed to take a bad picture. Everything is classic imagery melded in seamlessly with quirkiness and modern touches. The Prague Castle is the largest continuous castle complex in the world, and offers far too many opportunities for good pictures. I’m getting more and more picky with what I post up here or you’d be seeing a gallery of about 300 images.

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So I heard there was a golem around here. I was hoping for a, well, y’know a golem - I guess Rabbi Loew wasn’t high enough level to make one. All I found was this guy - though that’s good as I didn’t have a +3 weapon that does crushing damage with me. It’s in my other bag.

There’s a place here called the Beer Factory. While they don’t produce beer, per se, they do have table with four taps built into them. I’m going to repeat that, the table has taps built into it. You pour your own, and the little computer keeps your tab. Brilliant! Then, as if an unlimited supply of beer at your table isn’t quite enough your ’score’ or number of half-liters of beer your table has consumed, is on display on a large video screen that dominates the room. I’m glad I went for lunch and only had 3.5 liters of beer. Otherwise things could have turned ugly.

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Speaking of ugly and seperated heads, there’s a church here that houses the remains of 40,000 people…just not in the graveyard. Think more along the lines of Martha Stewart and Glen Danzig having a housewarming party. I liked it, it was cozy.

One final note, Czech food is outstanding. Some of the best food for clearly the best price I have ever seen in my life. As it goes Prague has the official Wandering Nerd stamp of approval. I’ve had a great time and I’m truly fighting the urge to stay one more night. What with not have slept in a long time, and tonight having a quiet night, I’m vaguely concerned I’ll sleep through the alarm tomorrow and have to stay. What a tragedy that would be.

Enjoy the pics kids!


nothing to win and
nothing left to lose
-u2

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