Massages to go, should we press our faces to the glass, and the murder of many trees

The Wandering Nerd October 20th, 2007

I have returned! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you people missed me.

I was in Frankfurt for the “World MBA Tour.” It sounds quite a bit more impressive than it really is. I interviewed with a few schools, talked to a few more and got to sit through a lengthy presentation from another.

When I signed up for this thing I figured it would be a laugh, get to talk to some of the schools I was interested in, meet some people who were trying the same thing, generally just have a lark. Then the emails began… If I ever need an ego boost - unlikely, and probably not safe for the environment if I get one - I’m gonna’ go back over reading those. One of the questions asked on the registration is how you did on the GMAT - quite possibly the most obtuse, bass-ackwards and needlessly convoluted standardized test in existence. I’m not sure I would classify it as hard in and of itself. It certainly is difficult, but the way the questions and problems are worded are actively designed to mess up the taker. Perhaps it is a good indicator of success in deciphering what the root of a problem really is when awash in the sea of business buzzword bullshit. I did well on the GMAT and got flooded with emails to meet with members of X, Y, and Z institutions - either that or they all know just how fantaschticalicly awesome I am. Have one of you been talking to them about me?


Friday night was the Wharton program reception. Call me crazy, but when I think, reception, specifically reception in the context of an MBA program wanting to attract prospective students, I think of alumni, some punch and pie, maybe some booze. When said reception is supposed to take place on the 60th floor of the MesseTurm Tower - which is the only building in Germany with it’s own bloody postal code - I was expecting a rather extravagant reception. A two hour presentation encompassing the entirety of the glossy material on the school’s damned website, followed by free water and what was described as a ‘plate of little green things’ does not a good reception make. That’s more like a shitty Amish middle school prom - though at least the Amish have the common goddamn decency to not use PowerPoint.

Overall there were probably 50 institutions represented, many of which I’ve never even heard of. Other program in which I was only vaguely interested in jumped to the forefront, specifically IMD. Looks like I have an additional place to hit when I’m in Switzerland. Have no worries, I’ll still go to the chocolate watch factory. Also, as a little teaser, I’m planning on some excitement while I’m there. In this little town called Interlaken. You’ll see.

The last minute interview with McDonough School of Business went pretty well I think. I had only vaguely been interested in them as a school but I was impressed with the spiel and the interviewer sold it well and referred to it as plucky, fiesty school. I think I can safely be labeled as plucky and/or fiesty, and more so every day.

I know what I need to work on from a business school. From an interpersonal communication side, I need to work on learning the business appropriate way to say, “That has got to be the most asinine bullshit I have ever had the unfortunate pleasure of filtering through my hear-holes you tit!” I think it would go something along the lines of, “I don’t feel that that would be the correct course in our present situation.” But I ask you, where is the poetry in that?

From the more practical standpoint, I need to get a handle on all of the fiscal and accounting portions of doing business. The thing that really gets me with these interviews and talking with all the suits, there seems to be an underlying expectation by many of the schools that an applicant knows essentially every aspect of business anyway. I was rather rudely asked today, “Don’t you know how to read a case-study?” I said, “Yeah, from left to right, do you know how to recompile a Kernel?” That’s actually a really funny line if you’re a nerdly type, just laugh along so the regular audience doesn’t notice you not laughing.  If I already knew all of that stuff, why would I need to be going to a business school?

From what little I got to see of Frankfurt, I liked it. There’s a pretty massive red light district - massages to go, yeah seriously, I saw that written on a sign - right out in front of the main train station (hauptbahnhof). There are internet cafe/strip clubs. I’m not sure if that’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard of or tantamount to dipping chocolate in peanut butter. Imagine, World of Warcraft and live nude dancers…you’re welcome. :)

Okay gang, I’m off to crash, enjoy the images from Frankfurt.

the selfish gene in me has finally come into being
he’s teaching me how to be mean
-ned’s atomic dustbin

2 Responses to “Massages to go, should we press our faces to the glass, and the murder of many trees”

  1. The Parentson 21 Oct 2007 at 7:28 pm

    we have missed you, so glad you are back . and we can read your web page. We love you . The Parents

  2. Picidaeon 21 Oct 2007 at 7:42 pm

    Ich Habe Schwein Gehabt—or so the back of the good luck pig says.


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